Did I ever tell you about the time - Pissy Face Edition

I had terrible acne as a teenager, no ... I mean HORRENDOUS. It was so bad that I used to wear a scarf covering the lower half of my face going to school because I was so self conscious. The acne spots would ooze all the time and ... because I couldn't keep my hands away from my face ... it was always inflamed and infected. The acne started below my cheekbones and went down under my jaw line on both sides of my face. It was painful, it was awful and I cried about it more often than not.

When I was 16, I was sitting at home in our kitchen, crying my eyes out about my skin when my dad, sitting in his chair by the range, looked me dead in the eye and said ... "agra ( Irish for my love ), what you need to do is go upstairs to the bathroom, wee in the sink, and wash your face with your wee". I looked at him sideways through the haze of my tears and said ... "really dad, do you think it will work"?. He looked back at me and said "Absolutely agra".

So, I took him at his word, ready to try just about anything because I was so devastated and disheartened, and went upstairs, got a chair, stood up on the chair, dropped my jeans and wee'd in the sink. Now ... that alone should have sent up some warning signals because who actually gets up on a chair to pee in a sink? Peeing in a plastic cup never involved climbing on a chair to wee in a sink, so how and why did I not think of this when my father told me to wee in the sink? My desperation was so intense I would have done anything ... clearly.

But ... there were no red flags, my spidey senses weren't tingling, I was all in and going for it. And then came the next part, I scooped up some of my own wee and did indeed wash my face with it. Now, I was operating in the realm of complete unknowing. How does one wash one's face with wee? Put it on and wash it off with water? Put it on and leave it there? Pat it dry? In my uncertainty I just scooped and applied a couple of times and let it air dry. Good times! This was 1996.

I was a bit grossed out by the whole experience but ... ya gotta do what ya gotta do when you're going through a tough time, and I never shy'd away from anything. I walked back down the stairs, walked into the kitchen where my dad was now sitting at the kitchen table, sat beside him and said "I did it dad" ... he looked at me blankly and said "did what agra?" - "wee'd in the sink and washed my face with it dad, like you told me to"! I should have noticed the look on his face but I didn't. He leaned over to me, took a sniff, leaned back and looked me straight in the eye and said ..."jaysus agra, there's an awful smell of piss off ya" ... and then his shoulders began to shake as the laughter bubbled up inside him and he grinned out a snort.

I had just been had ... good and proper. I was furious, mortified and disgusted. Disgusted at myself for actually doing it with no consideration for my fathers love of a good prank, at my absolute gullible nature, and disgusted at my dad for making me do something so gross. He was still shoulder shaking and snorting with mirth while I stomped off in a major huff to wash my shame away and the smell of piss with it.

Nothing was ever said again by him about that prank but years later I asked him if he remembered telling me to go was my face with my own wee, his shoulders immediately started shaking, that smirk made an appearance on his face and he did a quick backwards head tilt and said ... "ara ... weren't you worse to heed me" ;).

See ... I really should have known better! I should have been way more aware of his diabolical prankster antics because ... as a kid he sent me into the local hardware store to get a glass hammer. I did ... walking up to the guy in the store who knew me well because everyone knew my dad in the town, and asked him for said glass hammer ... to which he burst out laughing and told me there were none in stock.

My dad also told me to go into a different local hardware and ask for glass nails ... yes ... I also did that. Walked in proud as punch to be doing man stuff with my dad ( I was a total tomboy ), and when I said I was looking for glass nails, the shop guy burst out laughing and told me there was no such thing.

Cue me going back out to my dad, shaking my head, and telling him that 'the guy in the shop told me there was no such thing but he must not be very good at his work because he doesn't know what he's talking about'. Total belief in my dad and these glass nails. Not noticing my dads shoulders shaking and the smirk on his face.

Or the time he sent me into the shop to ask for some elbow grease. All these were in the 80's when I was only a young kid, knew no better and was gullible and green. So you would think after those 3 experiences, I would have been wise to his antics but ... NO!

I learned a lot about myself and my dad after the wee'ing incident of 1996, maybe we could call it #weegate. My antenna went up completely on all and any kind of bullsh!t that came out of anyone's mouth from that moment on. My skepticism kicked in, and my questioning nature went into overdrive. I would never be pranked by him or anyone ever again. I also learned the following:

1. My love for a good prank began the moment I realised wee'ing on my own face had been a prank on me.

2. Trust no one with a glint of mischief in their eyes ... you could well be on their hit list!

3. Family means nothing when it comes to having a laugh.

4. Don't wash in wee is you don't want to smell of it

5. Thank God for innocent an wholesome fun.

6. 
   

Has anyone ever played a prank on you that you were just astonished by?

What's the funniest thing someone has ever done to you?

I would love to hear your stories, and these kinds of stories are a great way to let your creative juices flow, and let your writing style develop.

xoxo

Ciara